There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
