I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize