Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You left your underwear on the fireplace
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
