a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
