Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
