Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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