Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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