The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i believe in u and ur pee
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
