I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
