She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
