It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
