wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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