Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
NoShamevember. You game?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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