Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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