and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
