Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
