Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
People in love make me want to vomit
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize