I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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