What tipped you off? The sombrero?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There r osticjed everywhere
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
