Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it glows. i had to have it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
