that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
