I didn't shave. On purpose
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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