You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
All I want is dick and wine.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
