It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
