Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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