Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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