I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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