just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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