Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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