My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
