well you can't waste a boner
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
