I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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