ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
