We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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