i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just gargled with NyQuil
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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