I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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