This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
