His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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