Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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