Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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