Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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