I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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