Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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