I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Two words: blizzard sex
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
