You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
