They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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