But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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