We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
