hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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