If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
