she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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