At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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