Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
