She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
