i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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