At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
