Can i not drive my cunt home
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
