I think I am morally bankrupt
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
