my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize