He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
