Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Randomize
