What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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