At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
