Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize