i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
