A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
