What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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