matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
