He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
