just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
