I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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