Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Mom said you looked used
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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