Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
