Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize