How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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