All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
