I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
