He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize