She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
