My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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