I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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