Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
