I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
