I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
