We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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