Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
